by Donna Kaufman
The scene has been all too familiar. Recently, my husband, Mark, and I were dining at a fast-casual restaurant, seated near a mother with a young son who appeared about 3 years old. Both were eating. Mom was on her phone.
Until the very end of their meal, Mom continued on her phone while the son looked at his food, munching on french fries and looking around the dining area. We thought, “Who is at the wheel, making sure they were sharing the moment?”
In her most recent book, “Strong Ground,” social worker and bestselling author Brené Brown describes her deep dive into phone apps. With attention scattered across app platforms throughout the day, she faced her truth: she was not feeling properly grounded. She repeated the words “strong ground, Brené, strong ground,” to bring mindfulness to her choices.
Research is now plentiful on how technology is rewiring our brains. Overuse of digital tools can impact the brain’s ability to focus and sustain attention. It’s no wonder that “monkey mind” has become a common phrase. “The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness” by Jonathan Haidt has been on the bestseller list for months with startling data that shows “play-based childhood” began its decline in the 1980s and “was finally wiped out by the arrival of the ‘phone-based childhood’ in the early 2010s.” Haidt explains that “the rates of depression, anxiety, self-harm and suicide rose sharply, more than doubling on most measures.”
Whether we are feeling the effects ourselves, see our children distracted, or witness our grandchildren struggling, it’s time to ask: Who has the wheel driving your life?
When social media is so much more prevalent and influential, it makes me wonder about the heightened level of concern about the books in our school libraries. Early October marked Banned Books Week, one week during the year that booksellers and librarians have chosen to make a statement about the removal of books from classrooms and schools. We featured a large display of challenged books along with two years of Florida lists of books challenged and removed. In many counties throughout our state, school boards and school administrators have spent time and energy addressing the concerns of mostly a well-organized group of people who are convinced teachers and librarians are forcing inappropriate literature on our children. A woman came into Story & Song and asked to speak with the manager. I dropped everything to meet with her and listen to her concerns. We could easily agree that pornography had no place in schools, but a conversation about what constitutes objectionable material might not have been so easy to resolve. When we see teachers spend hours selecting books for their students, often spending their own money, we’re inclined to believe that they should be the ones to educate our kids to think critically and make wise choices, calling into question much misinformation and disinformation so prevalent in social media.
Technology is a relatively new malady to add to the list of addictions. While there are many benefits, there is also the harm of losing control. To maintain our ability to focus beyond the length of a social media post, we must be able to unhook from the screen without fear of missing out. Reclaiming our time, our human connection to one another, and our brain health is what there is to gain. Like Brené Brown, we can claim strong ground, steer our lives in positive directions, and savor the moments with others at the table.
Donna Paz Kaufman is the co-founder of Story & Song Center for Arts & Culture on Amelia Island. Since 1992, she and her husband Mark have helped train new owners of bookstore start-ups across the country. Donna has served as the national president of the other WNBA, the Women’s National Book Association.
